HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD IF YOU THINK THEY’RE ADDICTED TO GAMING
The World Health Organisation has just announced that Gaming Addiction is now officially a mental disorder. As a parent I’m sure you’ve had moments where you’ve considered whether or not your child uses video games too much and maybe even you did too when you were growing up. But alas, this is the 21st century and times are very different to when we were growing up. Children these days are exposed to screens everywhere they look, and inevitably there are plenty of video games to play on all these screens. So just how much is too much? And how do you talk to your child if you think gaming has become a problem. To get to the bottom of this issue, we chat to Lysn, Psychologist Breanna Jayne Sada.
How much gaming would be considered too much in your opinion?
Realistically this is a tricky question as it can vary from child to child and the parent will determine what is acceptable in each household. It really varies on what other activities your child is engaging in, for example, are they playing outside with friends, are they doing all their homework or study, are they helping with chores or working at a part-time job? Every child’s day and schedules can vary so I think the key thing to ask first is, is my child avoiding or abandoning other activities and duties they have in their lives due to gaming? The World Health Organisation classifies addiction digital and video gaming as a ‘pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behaviour’ that has become so extensive that it ‘takes precedence over other life interests’. I think this is the indicator of when things are getting out of hand, when your child doesn’t want to do anything else and they seemingly can’t remove themselves from playing video games to enable them to do other things or more important things like school, work and build relationships.
What are some common symptoms of gaming addiction?
Psychological symptoms of gaming addiction are often very similar to any other addiction (such as drugs or alcohol). Common signs include excessive use (playing for hours on end), withdrawing from other activities, increased dependency, loss of control, playing in secret or trying to hide how long they’re playing for, neglecting to carry out fundamental tasks such as showering, displaying withdrawal symptoms if the game is taken away (such as irritability and depression), impact on relationships (social and family) and impact on academic functioning or functioning at work.
How should you approach the subject with your child if you think they are addicted to gaming?
The key thing here is having open communication with your child about the subject, without making them feel ashamed or embarrassed. Sometimes when we are concerned we can appear angry, this is especially true when it comes to parenting but If you appear angry you will not see the progress and communication you desire, as your child will be defensive and shut down in response to your anger or what they assume is anger and often appear angry themselves. So staying came and curious might be a better tone. You could start by explaining that you understand why your child is so interested in gaming (after all, in moderation, it is a whole lot of fun). Then you can let them know that you are genuinely concerned about the amount of time they’re spending playing or that you’re worried because they’ve stopped seeing their friends or aren’t prioritising other important tasks. Using age appropriate language of course. Ideally you’ll be able to make your child open up and recognise their compulsive behaviour and neglect of other areas of their life. From here you can work with your child. You could ask them to set their own limits for how much is appropriate gaming and how much time they should be spending on other tasks. You could suggest implementing a schedule to reduce the time they spend playing video games, making it a reasonable amount of time and only allowed once other important tasks have been completed, therefore gaming becomes a reward for completing other tasks instead of a distraction. It is important to display a large amount of patience when it comes to dealing with someone with an addiction, as they might not stop their habit straight away. Consider replacing this habit with other things they might enjoy, such as offering to play basketball with them each afternoon or signing them up to a sport that they might enjoy. It is highly unlikely an addiction will change after one conversation so be patient but persistent. Most importantly commend them on progress and on their effort not just their successes. Small wins need to be celebrated just as much as big wins.
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