As children mature and progress through life, parents will observe a wide range of behaviors - some that may seem to define their unique personalities, while others may be more influenced by their current circumstances or emotions.
While some behaviors may simply be a passing phase, others may require a bit more attention and monitoring from parents. These are the behaviors that parents should be mindful of and take seriously, in order to provide the best support and guidance for their children:
· Avoidance. Avoidance is a behaviour that can be grounded in anxiety, however it is important that as a parent you try to establish what is causing concern and help them face fear safely.
· Withdrawal. Withdrawal is a behaviour that can be confusing for parents. It is a typical behaviour we see from teenagers as it stems from the need to become more independent. As kids get older they often like to spend more time by themselves and away from their family which can be perfectly normal in most cases as they are learning to explore the world on their own. However this behaviour could also be cause for concern. There is a difference in withdrawing from family to spend time with peers and just being alone and isolating themselves. Withdrawal does need to be monitored and the lines of communication should feel open enough that your child can talk about how they’re feeling.
· Telling white lies. Telling what might seem like innocent little fibs or exaggerating on stories might seem harmless at first but this can quickly become a habit and even a coping strategy. Little lies can grow and down the track have consequences even social ones with peers as well as behaviourally.
· Anger behaviours. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry, the issue is when angry behaviours are harmful or destructive. Giving a child a time out for getting mad has its merits but not if that child never learns HOW to behave when they are angry because everyone gets angry and we need to EXPLICITLY learn what TO DO when we are angry not just be told what NOT TO DO. Time out when done incorrectly also teaches the child not to talk when upset or emotional and in fact we want to teach them the opposite, to seek support and help. SO that time after getting angry needs to be used for reflection and as an opportunity for the child to learn form you and a time they can seek support.
· Don't ignore positive behaviour and following rules! These should be highlighted, rewarded and affirmed. As a rule of thumb those behaviours you pay the most attention to are the ones you are likely to see again. SO positive reinforcement for good behaviour is something that we want to see at every age not just little ones. Teenagers need this a lot too!
Our mental health professionals are available to provide support and guidance for those seeking advice on family or parental counseling. They are ready to assist you in understanding your current circumstances and emotions, and offer their expertise to help you navigate through any challenges you may be facing.
Visit welyns.com 24x7 to select your preferred clinician.
Article written by Breanna Jayne Sada, Lysn Psychologist.
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